I'm feeling a little random (and perhaps a little rant-y) today.
1) I've been reading up on the HOPE scholarship nonsense and, quite frankly, it makes me livid. I don't see how it's fair that the very, very top GPA students are guaranteed Hope, while anyone below that (arbitrary) number is pretty well screwed. They keep jacking up tuition with no real solutions as to how us po' folk gone pay for it. I'm also not sure why valedictorians and salutatorians are automatically granted scholarships. Maybe it was just at my high school, but our valedictorian only came to school half the time because she was "sick" (she was a friend of mine and I still have no idea what the hell was wrong with her). She wound up going out of state for college so that whole Zell Miller scholarship seems a little bit ridiculous considering that that "caliber" of student could just as easily have better out-of-state prospects. Also, GPA is no reflection on how good a student is. I've seen and heard tell of plenty of students who were 4.0 seniors and end up going to college for free and spending more time at the bars than in the classroom. (More on this in "College Sampler Tour" later :))
2) I am sick of self-righteous professors who assume that their students have had no previous experience in ANYTHING EVER. Just because I haven't taken your official "Intro" class doesn't mean I can't read for heaven's sake!
3) I love my school. I do. More than any other school I've been to. (Again, "College Sampler Tour" to come) But I am already tired of seeing butt cheeks and it isn't even May yet. I'm a big girl and everything, but I'd rather be a little warm than a lot nekkid, y'knowwhatuhmsayin'?
4) Today, I miss my old jobs a LOT. At Darton's Writing Center I had great coworkers and I loved the job. I loved the people who came in and my boss was fantastic. At the Herald, I got there before everybody else (usually) and spent part of the morning making coffee and sitting in my little cubicle. A silent newsroom is a rare and beautiful thing. My coworkers were a hot mess, but Vickie and Carlton will definitely be my lifelong friends and I'm grateful to know them both. Jim is a wonderful, wonderful boss and a kick in the ass when you really need it. Not to mention he's hilarious. (But don't tell him I said that-he already thinks he's too funny) Danny's one of the sweetest people I've ever met, as is Jennifer. Today I really miss the peace and quiet, but also the camaraderie. Not to mention the interviewing process. I met some people I just fell in love with on assignment and I MISS THAT!
5) In other news, I miss Will and Gabbin like it's going out of style. Sometimes I hate the fact that we've been so involved in their lives because that just means that they aren't being raised by their mom and dad like they oughta be. They deserve sooooo much better and I would raise them myself if I had the means. I swear to God I think I have the ability-I love them more than I ever thought I could love my...second cousins? Cousin's babies, so, yeah, second cousins. But they say it takes a village! Gav and Will have me (and Michael), mom, Lindsay and Matt, Meem and Pop, Vickie and David, Mary and Curtis, Miss Pat, their mom and dad (occasionally) and an entire cast of characters. I just hope it's not to their detriment to be raised like this. Time will tell. Gavin's my boy, but Will's had my heart wrapped around his little pinkie since I first laid eyes on him (We started keeping him some weekends when he was maybe a week old). I fed him, stayed up half the night with him, changed his diaper, rocked him to sleep every chance I got from then on. So, needless to say, I'm a sucker for the little punk. :) This beautiful little brown-eyed baby is three now and I tell you, every time he says "I luddou!" (Willspeak for "I love you"), I just melt. Sheeeeeeesh. Sometimes when I can't sleep, I get to thinking about him (and Gavin) and I'll lay awake and just wish and pray and hope that somehow they would miraculously be mine and that I could take care of them all the time like they deserve. I know it's crazy-don't judge. But if you were in my shoes, you'd understand. I feel like a parent after all this time, so it's frustrating sometimes to not be able to be that to them. But that's the lot they've been dealt, so all I can be is their aunt who loves them more than life itself and would do whatever it takes for them to be safe, happy, and healthy.
Oh jeez I'm a rambler today! Sorry!
"All he could think about was how I'm too young for this.
Got my whole life ahead.
Hell, I'm just a kid myself.
How'm I gonna raise one?
All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke.
So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast.
Oh well...those plans are long gone.
[Chorus:]
And he said,
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
Might as well kiss it all good-bye.
There goes my life...
A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later.
That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator.
Oh yeah, he loves that little girl.
Mama's waiting to tuck her in,
As she fumbles up those stairs.
She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear.
Sleep tight, blue eyes and bouncin' curls.
[Chorus:]
He smiles.....
There goes my life.
There goes my future, my everything.
'I love you, daddy. Good night.'
There goes my life."
-Kenny Chesney "There Goes My Life"
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